I love stats

--by Horatio Algeranon
(with apologies to Jeffrey Moss -- "I love trash" -- and Oscar, of course)

Oh, I love stats
Anything binomial or Bernoullian or Gaussian
Anything Fuzzy or Frequentist or Bayesian
Yes, I love stats

I have here a plot that is scattered and abstruse
It's chock full of data with noise that is puce(!)
A gift from denialists who are quite obtuse
I love it because it's stats!

Oh, I love stats
Anything binomial or Bernoullian or Gaussian
Anything Fuzzy or Frequentist or Bayesian
Yes, I love stats

I've an E&E paper that's hot off the press
It's all full of holes and it sure is a mess
While most wouldn't read it, unless under duress
I'll debunk it with glorious stats!

Oh, I love stats
Anything binomial or Bernoullian or Gaussian
Anything Fuzzy or Frequentist or Bayesian
Yes, I love stats

I've an HP-25 and an old Macintosh
A (free!) "R" stats package that works great (by gosh)
The HP quit working when she went through the wash
But I keep her because she did stats!

Oh, I love stats
Anything binomial or Bernoullian or Gaussian
Anything Fuzzy or Frequentist or Bayesian
Yes, I love stats

Yes, I love, I love, I love stats.

Horatio likes statistics as much as the next anonymuse, but not nearly as much as Tamino, who is a master of time series analysis (Horatio was trained in physics and is a humble regressionist in comparison). The above was inspired by an Ode to Tamino posted by Eli Rabett on Rabett Run.

Note for the statistically (and colorically) un-initiated:"Puce Noise" is also known as "Brown noise"* or "red noise" (ie, Brownian noise). "Puce" is a brownish-red hue, of course.

*Not to be confused with "brown-nose", like Horatio.