Meterology

-- By Horatio Algeranon

Horatio's verses

Must be like curses

To Shakespeare buffs
-- Or even hearses

To English profs

With poetry courses.

It has recently been pointed out to Horatio that the "meter" of his poems is sometimes "off" (Horatio's note: sometimes it's even nonexistent).

Horatio knows it's a lame excuse, but he has never really bought into the metric system. Inches and feet work just fine when Horatio is doing his carpentry (as long as he remembers the rule to "measure once and cut twice") -- and besides, Shakespeare was English, so what would he know about meters anyway?

And for all the English profs and other fans of serious poetry out there, Horatio would like to add the following disclaimer:

Caution. With Horatio’s goofy poems, anything goes — sometimes very badly. Not to be taken too seriously (or at all). "Analyze" (meter, rhyme, etc) at the risk of serious brain injury.