AMO is Ammo

 -- by Horatio Algeranon

AMO is ammo
For those who wear camo

To hide global warming
Which is quite alarming.

They sit in the blind
And shoot from behind.

Then gather their game

And return whence they came.

Like old Elmer FUD,
Their talk's clear as mud.

But they sure don't worry
'Cuz truth's not their quarry.

The Urban Dictionary defines "Elmer FUD" as a "FUD campaign that backfires, making the people who started it look stupid."

Inspired by this post by Tamino.

For more on the exploit's of Elmer FUD, you may want to read A Tale of Two Surface Stations, Stalking the Wild Air Conditioner and Grassy Knolls & Rabett Holes.

Not knowing everything is not knowing nothing

--by Horatio Algeranon 

We certainly don't know everything,
Hence study ice-melt every spring.

We surely don't have all the answers
But know that smoking leads to cancers.

We may not be certain 100%,
But do know where the glaciers went.

Next week's weather can be hard to name
But climate and weather are not the same.

We can't predict the amount of storming
But know the global climate's warming.

We can't foretell the future emissions
We are not Nostradamusticians.

Though it is certain that certain we're not
That doesn't mean that we know naught.

The Interpreter of Interpretations

 -- by Horatio Algeranon

"I am an interpreter of interpretations"
A translator for the Skeptic Nations,
The "Telephone Game" is my vocation.
For peer-review, I've little patience.

I'm not an expert on surface stations.

My job's to speak on "personal relations",

"Skeptic exclusion" and other temptations,

"Climategate" and like sensations,
To garner reader adoration,
Adulation and congratulations.

Inspired by this BBC video (HT Joe Romm and Eli Rabett)

Splitting Statistical Hairs

--by Horatio Algeranon

It's loads of fun for the warming naysayers
To sit around splitting statistical hairs.

Forever debating "statistical significance"
While glaciers melt into insignificance.

Wringing their hands over PCA
While temperatures rise and people pay.

Diddling around with statistical tests,
To find the one that serves them best.

Selecting the year to start their trend
(Always one with a downward bend)

"Cherry-picking" their sample to make their case
Lying and obfuscating to your face.

The statistical sleights are many and varied 

To avoid the traps, one must be wary.

They Blame it All on Global Warming

 --by Horatio Algeranon

They blame it all on global warming
Even though the ice is forming
(In winter, when it's cold and storming)

They blame it all on temp uptick
While playing Mike Mann's "Nature Trick"
(Which doesn't change the hockey stick)

They blame it all on human cause
Despite the decade warming pause
(Following escape from El Nino's jaws)

They blame it all on greenhouse gas
Which has a very tiny mass
(But absorbs the photons as they pass)

They blame it all on CO2
Which "equals life", you know it's true
(And stops the heat from getting through)

Stopping by Winnebagos on a Hot Summer Evening

 --by Horatio Algeranon

(with apologies to Robert Frost, 

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening)

Whose Winnebagos these are I think I know

Their houses are in New England though

They will not see me stopping here

To covet their cabin cruisers in tow.

Their little kids must think it queer

To stop without a gas-station near.

Between the highway and balmy lake

The hottest evening of the year.

The generator begins to quake
It runs AC, so they don't bake.

The only other sound's the hiss

Of insect zapper, oh what bliss.

The Winnebagos are lovely long and new

And oh how I would love one too

But haven't the bucks so I am blue,

I haven't the bucks so I am blue.

 Last evening, Horatio was out gathering firewood in the 40-acre wood behind the house, blanketed with 2 feet of soft snow by the recent nor' easter. The scene brought to mind Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening"... which naturally made Horatio dream of Winnebagos.

Even Horatio has to remind himself sometimes that "weather does not equal climate" -- especially after a big nor'easter when he dreams of summer -- and owning a gas guzzling Winnebago. (Just kidding about the latter) .

In other words,  a big winter storm or even an unusually cold winter here or there from time to time does not mean the climate is getting cooler overall. In fact, some climate modelers predict (perhaps a bit counter-intuitively) that due to global warming, some regions on earth will actually experience colder winters and the probability of extreme storms (more snow or rain) will actually increase.

Petty Tyrants of the Climate Blogosphere

-- by Horatio Algeranon

How indubitably inspirant
To be dubbed a "Petty Tyrant"*
By a Climate Oracle perched on high
On Mount Parnassus, at Delphi.

*Think "basilisk" (from the Greek basiliskos meaning "little king").

For more on climate oracles, read Omnipressience.

Horatio knows his poetic license may be (and prolly should be) revoked for "inspirant", but he likes to push the antelope.

The Liar and the Outlier

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Said the Liar to the Outlier:
"You simply can't be real."
"You don't fit my desire
"Which has great sex appeal"

The Outlier to the Liar:
"I represent a truth."
"Don't use a gun for hire"
"To carry out your proof."

The Liar to the Outlier:
"Shut up and prepare to die."
"When I throw you on the pyre"
"No one will ask 'Why?' "

Climate Hersay

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Galileo was branded a "Heretic"
Not for challenging accepted science
But because to Canon he gave a kick:
Blatant, brazen Church defiance.

The claim that "Hersay" amounts to "heresy"
Equates the science with religion

And the priestly order with the IPCC

Which stretches the metaphor just a smidgen.

Inspired by Greenfyre's Myth making by Scientific American, a response to the Scientific American article Climate Heretic: Judith Curry Turns on Her Colleagues.