Fake 'n Bake

--by Horatio Algeranon

You believe global warming is real

But I know that it's fake

Fake thermometers, that's the deal

Fake climate scientists on the take

Fake science papers in fake publications

Fake academic and Celsius degrees

Fake reports for public relations

Fake bachelors, masters and PhD's.

Fake IR absorption by CO2
Fake Mauna Loa Keeling Curve
Fake effect of the greenhouse too
It's all a fake, as we observe.

Fake arctic sea-ice and glacier retreat

Fake cooling of the stratosphere

It's "Fake 'n Bake" and I repeat

The whole thing's FAKE!! That much is clear.

Inspired by a comment at the Rabett's place:

"I think global warming is fake, you think it's real. Send money to the government, drive a Prius and eat your food off of bamboo planks if you like, just don't force your opinions on me. We're both looking at the same data but have done different analysis', deal with it."

To Each His Own

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Ideology sets the path,

Economics provides the math

And Ethics makes the excuse

For inter-generational abuse.

 

 

 

The argument that "Every dollar spent to reduce emissions is a dollar that would be better spent to reduce poverty" is fairly popular in some circles, including some hacker circles.

Go Down Mosher

--by Horatio Algeranon (with a little help from Anonymous)

 

When Mosher was in Denier's land,
Let My emails go!
FOI'd so hard they could not stand,
Let My scientists go!


Refrain:
Go down, Mosher,
Way down in Denier's land;
Tell old McIntyre
To let My people go!


No more shall they in BS toil,
Let My people go!
Let them vanquish Exxon's oil,
Let My people go!
(Refrain)


Let us all from Monckton flee,
Let My people go!
Let us all from Chris be free,
Let My people go!
(Refrain)


It takes no courage to lie and boast,
Let My people go!
And cater to your CA host,
Let My people go!
(Refrain)


Might try asking before you demand
Let My people go!
And you'll begin to understand,
Let My people go!
(Refrain)

Steven Mosher (aka Mr. Edit), author of "Climategate: The CRUtape Letters" and "inventor" of the too-clever-by-half "Piltdown Mann" webuendo, clearly fashions himself as some sort of latter-day Moses, leading his people to freedom (He believes "his people" are the scientists, of course)

Letters from Santa

-- by Horatio Algeranon

"The CRUtape Letters"
Was a hit

So now we expect
 A newspeakquel to it.

Piltdown Mosher
With his tales,

Could benefit
From Christmas sales.

"Lord, he was born a dissemblin' man"

-- by Horatio Algeranon

(with a little help from the Allman Brothers and Dickey Betts)

Lord, he was born a dissemblin' man
Trying to make a flat-line and doing the best he can
When it's time for deceivin', I hope you'll understand
That he was born a dissemblin' man

His father was a Viscount down in Brenchley
He wound up on the right end of a sum
He was born in the back seat of a Mercedes Benz
Rolling down highway A-21

Lord, he was born a dissemblin' man
Trying to make a flat-line and doing the best he can
When it's time for deceivin', I hope you'll understand
That he was born a dissemblin' man

He's on his way to Georgia Tech this morning
Leaving out of Kent in Ye Olde Kingdom
Always having a good time down on the Mann oh, Lord
Them Georgia women think the world of him.

Lord, he was born a dissemblin' man
Trying to make a flat-line and doing the best he can
When it's time for deceivin', I hope you'll understand
That he was born a dissemblin' man

Nobel Dreams

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Now that I've won

The Nobel prize

I can close

My weary eyes

And speculate

About goofy things

Like global cooling

And moody rings

What's in a word?

-- by Horatio Algeranon

(with help from the Anonymuse Most High)

What's in a word

That which we call a "pause"

By many other words*

Would stall as neat.

*stop, lag, slowdown, whatever.

"There's no scientific evidence"

-- by Horatio Algeranon

There's no scientific evidence,

That warming hasn't stopped

Nor is there any affirmation

That aliens haven't dropped,

From spaceships up above

And made to us their love.

There's no definitive proof
That Elvis ain't around

Or that he ever even left

And was buried underground,

Where worms have permeated

The King, as some have stated.

There's no rationale for believing

That Big Foot isn't real

And isn't doing TV ads

That sell his sex appeal,

Dressing up in Calvin Klein

That beastly body to define.

There's no convincing argument

That fairies aren't true

That Peter Pan ain't really real
And Tink and Wendy too

That Captain Hook was just a mime

Acting for a lousy dime.

There's no scientific evidence

That warming hasn't paused

Lagged, slowed down, or whatever

(Don't ask about the cause)

Our data show The Pause, in fact

And Monckton plots the trend exact.

Inspired by a comment by "muoncounter" at Open Mind.

Curry "Just"ification

– by Horatio Algeranon

You know,

Our data show the pause

But don’t ask 'how? '

It's just because

For context, read this.