Put another nail in the coffin

-- Horatio Algeranon's reversification of

Glaser Tompall's "Put another log on the fire"

Put another nail in the coffin

Cook me up some data and a graph

Post up on my blog and keep on bluffin'

Until you've written Warming's epitaph.

Come on, Bobby, you can boost my hit-count,

And then go fetch my hackers.

And boil me up another pot of tripe.

Then put another nail in the coffin, Bob,

And bury Global Warming -- time is ripe.

Now don't I let you lie with stats on Sunday?

Don't I warn you when her tails are gettin fat?

Ain't I a-gonna take you trollin' with me someday?

James Inhofe couldn't love you more than that.

Ain't I always nice to Judith Curry?

Don't I hype her blogging every day?

So, dissemble on my blog 'cos God knows it spreads the fog,

And you know that in the short run it will pay.

So, put another nail in the coffin

Cook me up some data and a graph

Post up on my blog and keep on bluffin'

Until you've written Warming's epitaph

Come on, Bobby, you can boost my hit-count,

And then go fetch my hackers.

And boil me up another pot of tripe.

Then put another nail in the coffin, Bob,

And bury Global Warming -- time is ripe.

Stairway to Heaven

-- Horatio Algeranon's rendering of the classic Led Zeppelin tune

There's a steptic who's sure, temp that goes up is good

And he claims it's a stairway to heaven

When he gets there he "knows", if the future's foreclosed

With a dollar he can get what he came for

Ooh, ooh, and he claims it's a stairway to heaven

There's a graph on his blog but he wants to be sure

'Cause he knows sometimes graphs have two meanings

In a tree by Yamal, there's a proxy that sings

Somehow all of its temps are misgiven

Ooh, it makes him blunder

Ooh, it makes him blunder

There's a feeling he gets when he looks at the BEST

And his spirit is crying for leaving

On his blog he has blown rings of smoke through the trees

And confusion for those who stand lurking

Ooh, it makes him blunder

Ooh, it really makes him blunder

And it's whispered by Willie Soon if we all call the tune

Then the Inhofes will lead us to Reason

And a pay day will dawn for those who stand long

And the board-rooms will echo with laughter

If there's some chaos in your climate, don't be alarmed now

It's just a spring clean for the Maldives

Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run

There's no need to change the road you're on

And it makes him blunder

Your blog is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know

James Inhofe's calling you to join him.

Dear Tony, can you hear the windbag blow and did you know

Your stairway lies on the global temp?

And as we wind on down the road

Our shadows taller than our soul.

There walks a scientist we all know

Who shines white light and wants to show

That he ain't in it for the gold.

And if you listen very hard

The tune will come to you at last.

When all are one and one is all

To be a rock and not a troll.

But he claims it's a stairway to heaven...

A global warming "steptic" sees a series of (usually downward-sloping) stairs where the vast majority of climate scientists see an upward ramp in temperature upon which "noise" (eg, from El Nino, La Nina and volcanic eruptions)  is superimposed..

Temperature (and Brain) Farts

– by Horatio Algeranon

The temperature changes in fits and starts

Steps and ramps and even farts

But that don’t disprove man-made warming

Or even prove it ain’t alarming.

 

 

 

What is "epsilon"?

-- by Horatio Algeranon

“Epsilon” is nearly 1

If we burn oil as we’ve done

And “epsilon” is “oopsolong”

If we prolong this crazy run.

Horatio's answer to the question posed by Tamino:

What’s the chance that if we continue with business-as-usual, man-made global warming will lead to disastrous climate change? It isn’t zero. It isn’t one. What is epsilon?

The Cycles on the Blog

-- Horatio Algeranon's take on the popular children's song
(sung by "Cosmic Ray and the Deniers")

The cycles on the blog go round and round
Round and round
Round and round
The cycles on the blog go round and round
All around the Web


The graphs on the blog go up and down
Up and down
Up and down
The graphs on the blog go up and down
All around the Web


The temps on the blog go only down
Only down
Only down
The temps on the blog go only down
All around the Web.


The noise on the blog goes only up
Only up
Only up
The noise on the blog goes only up
All around the Web.

The cherries on the blog get picked and cooked
Picked and cooked
Picked and cooked
The cherries on the blog get picked and cooked
All around the web


The science on the blog is non-existant
Non-existant
Non-existant
The science on the blog is non-existant
All around the web


The sea-ice on the blog is in recovery
In recovery
In recovery
The sea-ice on the blog is in recovery
All around the web

The driver of the blog is Cosmic Ray

Cosmic Ray
Cosmic Ray
The driver of the blog is Cosmic Ray
All around the Web.


The blokes on the blog claim "It's the sun",
"It's the sun""
"It's the sun"
The blokes on the blog claim "It's the sun"
All around the Web.


The Stevies on the blog cry "wah wah wah
Wah, wah, wah"
Wah, wah, wah".
The Stevies on the blog cry "Wah, wah, wah",
All around the Web.


The posts on the blog go round and round
Round and round
Round and round
The posts on the blog go round and round
All around the Web

Feel free to add your own verses.