Tuesday, July 31, 2012

EconoMcKitricks


-- by Horatio Algeranon

EconoMcKitricks
All the rage
"Debunks" Mann
In half a page

"Proves" the Global 
Mean is fiction
"Degrees" or "rads"?
It's merely diction.

Locates France 
In middle ocean
Geography
Without a notion.

Mines the emails
For buoyant quotes
That will float
Denier boats.

Mathturbates
And creates doubt
Garbage in
And garbage out.


For context, read this.


IgNobel Dreams


-- by Horatio Algeranon

My findings are unpressindented
And will in Cambridge be presented
When I win my IgNobel
For snapping photos very well.



If you have been living under a blog for the last few years and don't know what the above is about, read Jabberbloggy.

Clueless


-- by Horatio Algeranon

What "skeptics" lack
Is a single clue.
Where it happened
Who did it too
What was used 
To do the deed.
A little perspective
Is what they need.



Monday, July 30, 2012

I don't like to BEST, but...


-- by Horatio Algeranon

We've just made
A Nobel find
The sky is blue
With black behind

The grass is green
The sun is hot --
And so is fire
(But ice is not.)

And global warming
Is actually real
Berkeley Earth
Has clinched the deal.


Our climate science
Is simply the BEST
More roboast
Than all the rest.


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Normal Variation


-- by Horatio Algeranon

Today's outlier
Is tomorrow's norm
To vary higher
Is to conform.





Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Feynman's Law


-- Horatio Algeranon's versification of Richard Feynman

Reality must take precedence
For Nature cannot be fooled,
Promulgated, legislated, 
Or even over-ruled.


Of course, in DC, Inhofe's Law reigns supreme.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Skepulation

-- by Horatio Algeranon

When the call is to be sage
Skepulation is all the rage.
Tumbleweed is what we get
From the warming "skeptic" set.



Sunday, July 22, 2012

Investedgation


-- by Horatio Algeranon

The Tinfoil Hats 
Are out in force
"The Norfolk cops
Are 'pals', of course,"

"In cahoots
with the Hockey CRU --
Trying to hide
The data too!"




The Norfolk Constabulary, who recently announced their decision to end the investigation into the University of East Anglia CRU hacking that resulted in the tempest in a teapot known as "Climategate", stated in their press release that
“There is no evidence to suggest that anyone working at or associated with the University of East Anglia was involved in the crime.”
But, of course, the "climate science conspiracy" crowd will not accept this claim and would instead have the rest of us believe that the Northfolk police are also part of  the conspiracy, trying to cover up the "obvious": that the release of the CRU emails was an "inside job" (ie, by a whistleblower at CRU)...

As Horatio would put it
The goofy has 
An upward trend
An exponential
Without end.

Friday, July 13, 2012

We'll adapt


-- Horatio Algeranon's dapatation of Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson

Global warming?
We'll adapt...
CAT 5's forming?
We'll adapt...
Searing hot-spells?
We'll adapt...
Drying water-wells?
We'll adapt...
Greater flooding?
We'll adapt...
Cropland gutting?
We'll adapt...
Harvest ruin?
We'll adapt...
Order ungluin?
We'll adapt...
Climate warring?
We'll adapt...
Reality ignoring?
We'll adapt...

Global burnings?
We’ll adapt…
Increased earnings?
We’ll adapt…
AGW denial?
We’ll adapt…
PR guile?
We’ll adapt…


Inspired by Peter Sinclair's video, "Welcome to the rest of our lives"

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Random Walks

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Random walks
Like random talks
Are difficult to follow

Measureless motion
Like poisonous potion
Is difficult to swallow.


...especially when the context is global temperature,  which (unlike a random walk) is constrained by physical laws like conservation of energy.


Measureless = unbounded

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Welcome to Hell

-- by Horatio Algeranon 

Welcome to Hell 
So glad you came 
Where "cold" and "hot" 
Are just the same 

Where record heat 
Is nothing new 
But daily beat 
And yearly too 

Where "CAT 6 storm"
Means "raging fire"
The climate norm 
When you retire.





Technological Cobwebs


– by Horatio Algeranon
We’re trapped in a web
Of our very own making
Certain that progress
Is forsaking.




Saturday, July 7, 2012

The Skeptical Denierer


--by Horatio Algeranon

The Skeptical Denierer
The obverse of Inquirer
Is not a Truth desirer
But pseudo-sci inspirer
And Randiayn admirer.



If Dolphins Could Talk


--by Horatio Algeranon

If dolphins could talk,
Just what would they say
About the pollution
We've dumped in the bay?

If polar-bears could vote
Would they go to the polls
To stop global warming
And end ozone holes?

If Gaia were real
Would she cut out the cancer
That threatens her systems?
Only she knows the answer.




The Denier's Paradox

"I deny that I deny"

-- by Horatio Algeranon

I do deny
I'm in denial.
Admitting truth
Is not my style.

Better to just
Deny the facts,
Which seems to work
For Goldman Sachs.