EconoMcKitricks

-- by Horatio Algeranon

EconoMcKitricks

All the rage

"Debunks" Mann

In half a page

"Proves" the Global 

Mean is fiction

"Degrees" or "rads"?

It's merely diction.

Locates France 

In middle ocean

Geography

Without a notion.

Mines the emails

For buoyant quotes

That will float

Denier boats.

Mathturbates

And creates doubt

Garbage in

And garbage out.

For context, read this.

IgNobel Dreams

-- by Horatio Algeranon

My findings are unpressindented

And will in Cambridge be presented

When I win my IgNobel

For snapping photos very well.

If you have been living under a blog for the last few years and don't know what the above is about, read Jabberbloggy.

Clueless

-- by Horatio Algeranon

What "skeptics" lack

Is a single clue.

Where it happened

Who did it too

What was used 

To do the deed.

A little perspective

Is what they need.

I don't like to BEST, but...

-- by Horatio Algeranon

We've just made

A Nobel find

The sky is blue

With black behind

The grass is green

The sun is hot --

And so is fire

(But ice is not.)

And global warming

Is actually real

Berkeley Earth

Has clinched the deal.


Our climate science
Is simply the BEST
More roboast
Than all the rest.

Normal Variation

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Today's outlier

Is tomorrow's norm

To vary higher

Is to conform.

Feynman's Law

-- Horatio Algeranon's versification of Richard Feynman

Reality must take precedence

For Nature cannot be fooled,

Promulgated, legislated, 

Or even over-ruled.

Of course, in DC, Inhofe's Law reigns supreme.

Skepulation

-- by Horatio Algeranon

When the call is to be sage

Skepulation is all the rage.

Tumbleweed is what we get

From the warming "skeptic" set.

Investedgation

-- by Horatio Algeranon

The Tinfoil Hats 

Are out in force

"The Norfolk cops

Are 'pals', of course,"

"In cahoots

with the Hockey CRU --

Trying to hide

The data too!"

The Norfolk Constabulary, who recently announced their decision to end the investigation into the University of East Anglia CRU hacking that resulted in the tempest in a teapot known as "Climategate", stated in their press release that

“There is no evidence to suggest that anyone working at or associated with the University of East Anglia was involved in the crime.”

But, of course, the "climate science conspiracy" crowd will not accept this claim and would instead have the rest of us believe that the Northfolk police are also part of  the conspiracy, trying to cover up the "obvious": that the release of the CRU emails was an "inside job" (ie, by a whistleblower at CRU)...

As Horatio would put it

The goofy has 

An upward trend

An exponential

Without end.

We'll adapt

-- Horatio Algeranon's dapatation of Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson

Global warming?

We'll adapt...

CAT 5's forming?

We'll adapt...

Searing hot-spells?

We'll adapt...

Drying water-wells?

We'll adapt...

Greater flooding?

We'll adapt...

Cropland gutting?

We'll adapt...

Harvest ruin?

We'll adapt...

Order ungluin?

We'll adapt...

Climate warring?

We'll adapt...

Reality ignoring?

We'll adapt...

Global burnings?

We’ll adapt…

Increased earnings?

We’ll adapt…

AGW denial?

We’ll adapt…

PR guile?

We’ll adapt…

Inspired by Peter Sinclair's video, "Welcome to the rest of our lives"

Random Walks

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Random walks

Like random talks

Are difficult to follow

Measureless motion

Like poisonous potion

Is difficult to swallow.

...especially when the context is global temperature,  which (unlike a random walk) is constrained by physical laws like conservation of energy.


Measureless = unbounded

Welcome to Hell

-- by Horatio Algeranon 

Welcome to Hell 

So glad you came 

Where "cold" and "hot" 

Are just the same 

Where record heat 

Is nothing new 

But daily beat 

And yearly too 

Where "CAT 6 storm"

Means "raging fire"

The climate norm 

When you retire.

Technological Cobwebs

– by Horatio Algeranon

We’re trapped in a web

Of our very own making

Certain that progress

Is forsaking.

The Skeptical Denierer

--by Horatio Algeranon

The Skeptical Denierer

The obverse of Inquirer

Is not a Truth desirer

But pseudo-sci inspirer
And Randiayn admirer.

If Dolphins Could Talk

--by Horatio Algeranon

If dolphins could talk,

Just what would they say

About the pollution

We've dumped in the bay?

If polar-bears could vote

Would they go to the polls

To stop global warming

And end ozone holes?

If Gaia were real

Would she cut out the cancer

That threatens her systems?

Only she knows the answer.

The Denier's Paradox

"I deny that I deny"

-- by Horatio Algeranon

I do deny
I'm in denial.
Admitting truth

Is not my style.

Better to just

Deny the facts,

Which seems to work

For Goldman Sachs.