Truth is a Stranger

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Truth is a stranger to Denial,

Who doesn't like his factual style,

Detests his goody two-shoes nature

And hates his forthright nomenclature.

Accountability is for Losers

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Accountability is for losers,

Whistleblowers and refusers.

Not for loser-abusers

Or loser-abuser excusers.

"Don't worry, be happy"

-- Horatio's rendition of Bobby McFerrin

Here's a little song I wrote,
You might want to sing it note for note,
Don't worry, be happy

In every life we have some sea-level
when you worry you make it double
don't worry, be happy
dont worry be happy now
dont worry be happy
dont worry be happy
dont worry be happy
dont worry be happy

Ain't got no worries, ain't got no fears,
Seas won't rise for 200 years
Don't worry, be happy

'Cuz if you worry, your cat will drown,
and that will bring everybody down,
so don't worry, be happy

look at me I'm happy,
don't worry, be happy

Give you my phone number? When you're flooded? Are you nuts?
Don't worry, be happy

Ain't got no place to lay your head?
Storm surge came and flushed your bed?
Don't worry, be happy

Insurer says "You're just not covered"
"For water damage, as you've discovered"
Don't worry, be happy,


don't worry, be happy now...
don't worry, be happy
don't worry, be happy
don't worry, be happy
don't worry, be happy

Now there is this song I wrote 
I hope you you learned it note for note 
like good little children 

dont worry be happy

Listen to what I say 
In your life expect some sea-level
when you worry you make it double 
dont worry be happy 
be happy now

dont worry, be happy
dont worry, be happy
dont worry, be happy
dont worry, be happy
dont worry
dont worry be happy
don't worry, don't worry, don't do it,
be happy,put a smile on your face,
don't bring everybody down like this

don't worry, it will soon pass whatever it is,
don't worry, be happy,
I'm not worried

Broken Records

– by Horatio Algeranon

Broken records

Are now the norm

And not just of the

Sea-ice form.

There are a lot of broken records regarding climate science being played, again and again (repeatedly {day after day [week after week(month after month {year after year})]}) by a relatively small group ("The Unoriginal Artists"): 

"Global warming stopped in 1998", "Arctic Sea ice is in recovery", "Arctic sea ice doesn't mean anything because Antarctic sea ice is on the increase", "CO2 lags temperature increase", "Global warming is caused by cosmic rays", "Al Gore is fat", etc, etc.

There comes a time when you simply have to throw out the old broken records.

What you make

-- by Horatio Algeranon

What you take

Is what you receive.

What you make

Is what you leave.

Climate can Wait

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Climate can wait,

But politics can't.

Praise you may state,

But protest you shan't.

With this attitude, is it any wonder that the ship is still headed for the maelstrom?

Help of-a Sciency Whopper

-- Horatio Algeranon's reversification of Simon & Garfunkel (Bridge over Troubled Water)

When you're contrary 
Feeling gall 
When smears are in your lies 
I will deny them all 

I'm on your side 
Oh, When times get rough 
And ice just can't be found 
With the help of-a sciency whopper 
I will play it down 
With the help of-a sciency whopper
I will play it down 

When you're down and out 
When you're in defeat 
When sea ice melts so fast 
I will comfort you 
I'll take your part 
Oh, When summer comes 
And water is all around 
With the help of-a sciency whopper 
I will play it down 
With the help of-a sciency whopper
I will play it down 


Assail on Michael Mann, 
Assail on Jones 
Your time has come to shine 
All your schemes will have their way 

See how they shine 
Oh, If you need a friend 
I'm assailing right behind 
With the help of-a sciency whopper 
I will ease your mind 
With the help of-a sciency whopper
I will ease your mind.


Click here to listen to Horatio sing.

The Blogger

–  Horatio Algeranon's parody of Simon and Garfunkel, “The Boxer”

I am just a Watter boy
Though my story’s often told
I have squandered my credibility
For a blog that’s full of mumbles and preposterousness
All lies and jests
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the BEST

When I left my sense and my faculties
I was much less than a Roy
In the company of skeptics
In the quiet of a surface station running scared
Laying low, seeking out the grills and blacktop
Where the NOAA people go
Looking for the bias only they would know

Lie la lie …
Asking only blogger’s wages
I come looking for a job
But I get no offers,
Just a come-on from Al Gore up on Sixth Avenue
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there

Lie la lie …

Then I’m laying out my winter posts
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the Arctic Sea ice summers aren’t bleeding me
Bleeding me, going home

On the internet stands a blogger
And denier by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev’ry graph that laid him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger, with no shame
“I am leaving, I am leaving”
But the blogger still remains

Lie la lie …


Click here to listen to Horatio sing (or not)

The Wattsrealites

-- Horatio Algeranon's perversification of Desmond Dekker and the Aces

Get up in the morning, blogging from bed, sir,
So that every myth can be fed
Poor me, the Wattsrealite

Get up in the morning, blogging from bed, sir,
So that every myth can be fed
Poor me, the Wattsrealite

My logic and my facts, have been packed up and a-leave-me
"Darling," they said, "We were yours to receive"
Poor me, the Wattsrealite

Maths them a-screw up, good-sense has flied
I don't want to end up like Jekyl and Hyde
Poor me, the Wattsrealite

After a melt there must be a freeze
They catch me in a fib, they put on the squeeze
Poor me, the Wattsrealite
I wonder who I'm working for
Poor me, the Wattsrealite

Outta sight

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Find yourself

Within a bind?

Out of sight 

Is out of mind.

Bury carbon

And be at ease.

Go on emitting

As you please.

Night of the Living Sea-Ice

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Arctic sea ice

Is turning the coroner

In Watterecovery

A Holey re-Bjorner

Before you know it

It will be back

With all the trappings

of a Zombie attack.

How you say it

-- by Horatio Algeranon

It's not what you say

But how you say it.

It's not what you pray

But how you pray it.

It's not what you play

But how you play it.

It's not what you weigh

But how you weigh it.

It's not what you delay

But how you delay it.

It's not what you nay,

But how you nay it.

It's not how you pay

But who you pay it.

Messodology

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Our messodology

Is slyentific.

Our blog survey

Is just terrific.

Worthy of 

A Nobel prize,

For proving

Denierandayn ties.

Horatio thought his poems were goofy, but they can't hold a candle to some internet surveys. 

Now, don't get Horatio wrong. From what Horatio has seen, there is little doubt that "free market", "Libertarian", "Ayn Rand Objectivist" (and other) ideologies -- and, yes, conspiracy theory --  are sometimes (often?) associated with climate change denial.  Horatio has written ditties about that here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here (for example)

But anecdotal evidence is different from legitimate "proof" -- and there are scientific standards for the latter, which are not always followed (eg, by some goofy surveys).

WattsUp Malignman

– Horatio’ Algeranon’s perversion of Wichita Lineman" 

(Written by Jimmy Webb and popularized by Glen Campbell)

I am malignman for the country.
And I blog the mainroad.
Searchin’ in the sun for another ordure load.
I see you slinging on the wire.

I can’t hear you thru the whine.
And the WattsUp malignman,
is still on malign.

I know I need a small vacation.
But it don’t look like frost.
And if it’s hot, that arctic ice
In summer, will be lost.

And I need to more than want to.
And I want to for all time.
And the WattsUp malignman,
is still on malign.

And I need to more than want to. 
And I want to for all time.
But the WattsUp malignman,
Yes, he's still on the line.

I'm a WattsUp malignman
Bloggin on the line...

*See, for example, “SURFACE TEMPERATURE RECORDS: POLICY DRIVEN DECEPTION?” SPPI, Jan 29, 2010 (Anthony Watts and Joseph D’Aleo) which implies (quite falsely) that "station dropouts" may actually have been part of a "deception" (ie, fraud) by some of those involved with overseeing the surface temperature record.

Horatio wrote Blog Day Afternoon about the latter.

Click here to listen to Horatio sing "WattsUp Malignman" (or not)

Moving the Polepost

-- by Horatio Algeranon

An arctic free of summer ice

As proof of warming won't suffice

A winter free is what we need

To really truly prove the deed

The Recovery After

– Horatio Algeranon’s ruination of yet another song

("The Morning After” -- Theme song from the "Poseidon Adventure", by Maureen McGovern)

There’s got to be recovery after
If we can hold on through the low
We have a chance to find the sea-ice
Let’s keep on looking for the snow

Oh, can’t you see recovery after?
It’s waiting just beyond the warm
Why don’t we cross the Fall together
And find a time that’s cold and numb?

It’s not too late, to be denying
Only in winter will ice climb
It’s not too late, not while we’re lying
Let’s put our graphs out in time

There’s got to be recovery after
We’re moving closer to the freeze
I know we’ll be there by tomorrow
And we’ll escape the warmness
We won’t be searching arctic seas

There’s got to be recovery after
(There’s got to be recovery after)
There’s got to be recovery after
(There’s got to be recovery after)
There’s got to be recovery after
(There’s got to be recovery after)
(repeat each summer and never — EVER — fade out)



If there is actually anyone who has been under a (b)log for the last few years and does not know what the above is about, read The Brain Drain.