Dohaloha

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Doha

Moha

Noha

Goha

Soha

Loha

Money for Nothin'

-- Horatio Algeranon's parody of the Dire Straits song

Now look at them politicos that's the way you do it
You play the public on the empTV
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin', and trips for free
Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get a blister on your mousing finger
Maybe get a blister on your bum

We gotta install CEO covins
Custom contract deliveries
We gotta move these pipelines and graders
We gotta move these houses and trees

The UN envoy with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that's her au pair
The UN envoy got her own jet airplane
The UN envoy she's a millionaire

We gotta install CEO covins
Custom contract deliveries
We gotta move these pipelines and graders
We gotta move these houses and trees

I shoulda learned to play the public
I shoulda learned to play them ducks
Look at that drama, he sounds so slick up on the camera
Man will he make some bucks
And he's up there, what's that? Hill lyin' noises?
Bangin' on enviros for a Keystone fee
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin', get your perks for free

We gotta install CEO covins
Custom contract deliveries
We gotta move these pipelines and graders
We gotta move these houses and trees

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
You play the public on the empTV
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and trips for free
Money for nothin' and perks for free

Denalism

Mt. Denali (McKinley), Alaska

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Evidence is a mountain
Emerging from the clouds
Denial is a fountain
Of falsehood that enshrouds.

Denihilism

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Denihilism is deway

Denihilists delay

Squaring the Circle

– by Horatio Algeranon

Fitting a circle

With a square

Takes a “skeptic”

With a flair.

Squaring the circle (technically different than "curve fitting") is an impossibility (proved in 1882).

But that certainly hasn't stopped the global warming "skeptics" from trying (see, for example, "Don’t estimate acceleration by fitting a quadratic... if your data do not look like a quadratic!" )

Leave the carbon

Wild Fires

— Horatio Algeranon's parody of "Wild Horses",
John Williams song popularized by the Rolling Stones

Fossil-fuel living is easy to do
The Hummers I wanted, I bought one or two
Warmin' denier you know that I am
You know I can’t let oil slide through my hands
Wild fires, couldn’t drive me away
Wild wild fires, from the fossil-fuel day

I will do nothing to prevent the heat
And fires in the future, out on the street
No climate changes or droughts in the West
Could make me feel different or accept the “BEST”
Wild fires, couldn’t drive me away
Wild wild fires, from the fossil-fuel day

I know I’ve blogged oft a spin and a lie
I have my fee-dom but I don’t have a dime
Heartland’s been broken tears must be cried
Let’s do some denyin’ after we lie
Wild fires, couldn’t drive me away
Wild wild fires, from the fossil-fuel day
Wild fires, couldn’t drive me away
Wild wild fires, from the fossil-fuel day

Fire on the Mountain

-- Horatio Algeranon's rendition of The Marshall Tucker Band's "Fire on the Mountain"

Took our fam'lies away from our low-carbon days
Had dreams about the best, and joined the fuelish ways
100 plus years on an oil-covered trail
They say Heaven's at the end
But it's looking like Hell

And there's fire on the mountain
Carbon in the air
Oil in them spills and it's waiting for you there

We were drilling and fracking, every hour and day
Spoiling ev'rything around to make it pay and pay
Oil flowed free in the houses and the cars
Wasting was the big Oil Lord
And Carbon was the star

And there's fire on the mountain
Carbon in the air
Oil in them spills and it's waiting for you there

Strip mall whirls were the evening treat
Empty packages and food lined the gutters of the street
Cars were bought up for the sake of fun
Or just to hear the noise of a sports-car run

And there's fire on the mountain
Carbon in in the air
Oil in them spills and it's waiting for you there

Now my grandchild, curses by my grave
Tears flow free for a world I could have saved
Heated up in warm air by a stack that carried flame
All for a useless and no good worthless claim

And there's fire on the mountain
Carbon in the air
Oil in them spills and it's waiting for you there
Fire on the mountain
Carbon in the air
Oil in them spills and it's waiting for you there
Waiting for you there.... 



Click here to listen to Horatio sing Fire on the Mountain.

The Climate Cliff

-- by Horatio Algeranon

The climate cliff

Is steep and deep

But Wile E. Human

Takes the leap.

Lessons from Nature

-- Horatio Algeranon's versification of Sarah van Gelder

Nature works in cycles. 

It doesn’t throw away,

What was left in past-times

Is used again today.

Nature is inter-relational

Competitive and cooperative,

Without one and the other
It would be nigh inoperative.

Nature gets its energy

Mostly from the sun

Living off of interest

Not a fossil fund.

Inspired by “To Change Our Direction, It’s Time to Follow Nature’s Lead” by Sarah van Gelder:

It takes humility to recognize that what we’ve called progress isn’t always for the better. Sometimes nature’s original idea was a better one.

For more on this theme, read "The Bristlecones".

The Clime of Civilization

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Civilization's clime

Was good most all the time

But now the greenhouse gas

Portends that it will pass.

As "Turn Down the Heat" ( A Report for the World Bank by the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research and Climate Analytics) concludes

The lack of action on climate change not only risks putting prosperity out of reach of millions of people in the developing world, it threatens to roll back decades of sustainable development.

For another ditty on this subject, read Portal to the Past.

Glocken Keystone

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Keystone is

The warning bell,

For opening

The Gates of Hell.

Nobody likes a back seat driver

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Climate change

Must take back-seat

To jobs and growth

And the Keystone feat.

Certain Confusion

-- by Horatio Algeranon

When "experts" disagree

The public comes to be

Confused by uncertainty.

"Scientific uncertainty" is much misunderstood by the public -- and there are those (eg, in the fossil fuel industry) who have made great hay of this on the climate change issue.

Nothing in science is known with absolute certainty. That scientists don't know everything (and disagree on some things) does not mean they know nothing. In fact, the vast majority of climate scientists are in agreement that climate change is real, that humans are having a significant impact and that we need to actually do something about it -- now, while we still can.

And not all "Expert Opinion" on climate change is equally valid.

The Fossoil Game

– by Horatio Algeranon

Climitigation is game theoretical

The outcome purely hypothetical.

Why cut oil, if China does not?

Why eschew the honeypot?

There are those who would have us believe that unless China and other large countries follow suit, there is no compelling reason why the US (and others) should cut emissions -- only reasons why we should not.

This is false. Even if climate change were not a consideration, weaning ourselves off of fossil fuel would still be a good idea --  from an economic (peak oil), environmental (air pollution) and social (wars for oil) standpoint.

Despite what some (politicians and others) would have us believe, our current situation is actually not like some "game" where we have an incentive to act only if others do the same.

Continued dependence on fossil fuel is a "honeypot"  -- a trap that we have effectively set for ourselves -- that will get us in the long run (one way or another) unless we consciously choose to avoid it.

Heat Wave

– Horatio’s sundering of Linda Ronstadt’s Heatwave” (Linda who?)

Whenever it’s warmin’
Something outside
Starts to burning
And it’s filled with the fire
Could it be the carbon in air?
Or is this the way it’s supposed to fare?

It’s, yike(!), a heat wave
Burning up the chart
Can’t keep de-nying
It’s climate change at heart

When weather, it is insane
Hot, blow, sleet and rain
I feel, yeah yeah
Well I feel that burning flame
Has climate change got a hold on me?
Or is this the way it’s supposed to be?

It’s, yike(!), a heat wave
Burning up the chart
Can’t keep de-nying
It’s climate change at heart

Sometimes we stare down from space
Fires all over the place
I can’t explain it
Don’t understand it
I haven’t ever felt like this before
Now that sunny feeling has me a-dazed
I don’t know what to do
My head’s in a haze

It’s, yike(!), a heat wave
Burning up the chart
Can’t keep de-nying
It’s climate change at heart

Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah oh oh (heat wave)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
oh (heat wave)

Don’t pass up this chance
This time it’s NeRo-mans
Heat wave
Heat wave
Heat wave
Oooh heat wave

Brownian Motion

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Said Brown to CO2

I'll walk awhile with you

If you don't care

That we get nowhere

And even mixed up too.

Climate Denialog

-- by Horatio Algeranon

I have started

A brand new blog,

Meant to lift

The climate fog.

I call it

"Climate Denialog".

Not really, but there is a new blog called "Climate Dialogue" whose stated purpose is to provide "blog discussions between experts with opposing views"

We shall see.

Blofessors

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Professors seek the truth,
Blofessors reap the spoof.

If you have no idea what that refers to, you might want to read Lookin' For Pause,  The Rose, or Curry on Wayward One.

A drop in denial

– by Horatio Algeranon

Drops of reality

In denial

Make an ocean

In a while.

Change of Climate

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Change is not progressive,

Using the same old tools.

To really change the outcome

We need to change the rules.

Pressidential Appeal

-- by Horatio Algeranon

I am a firm believer 

That climate change is real.

It’s just not really pressing

Enough for my appeal.

Recreational Reality

– Horatio’s (ever so slight) perversification of a Bush aide (thought to be Karl Rove)

We create our own reality.

That’s simply what we do

And while you study, judiciously,

We’ll act again, create anew

Other realities, to study too.

And that’s how things sort out,

We’re history’s actors…and you,

All of you, without a doubt,

Will be left to study what we do,

And fail to do, on climate too.

Some folks (eg, drug addicts) go to great lengths to hide the fact that they live in an alternate reality...while others actually brag about it.

Mannoblognoisia

-- by Horatio Algeranon 

Climate denial 

Is Mannoblognoisia. 

So much in style 

At Heartland symposia.

Inspired by a comparison of climate change denial to anosognosia by commenter "Bernard J." at Open Mind:

Climate change denialism seems almost to be a peculiar version of anosognosia, and indeed something much like it is recognised as symptomatic of the Dunning-Kruger effect where the afflicted can’t seem to perceive their lack of ability in particular intellectual domains.

Frozen Denial

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Denial is best served cold

If I may be so bold.

It melts in heat

Like an ice cream treat.

That can't be oversold.

David and Golieth

– Horatio Algeranon’s versification of David Suzuki

As a scientist, I take great umbrage

At being sent a load of dumbrage

From a Heartland shill for fossil fuel,

An anti-science, colossal tool.

Moral Deficit

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Our grandchildren

Will have to pay

For what we fail

To cut today.

Climate change 

Is future debt

X-treme weather

Is what they'll get.

As economist Dean Baker says, Climate change, not the national debt, is the legacy we should care about

Notstradamus

-- by Horatio Algeranon

Natestradamus 

Nails elections,

But on the climate

Peddles fictions

For context, read FiveThirtyEight: The Number of Things Nate Silver Gets Wrong About Climate Change

Silence is Deadly

-- by Horatio Algeranon

"We're in a dead heat"

The candidate said

"So let's put this talk

Of climate to bed."

"We've got an election

In just 2 years.

So can't acknowledge

Hansen's fears"

There will always be another election "just around the corner".

But the time for making excuses for -- effectively postponing -- climate inaction is long past. 

It's time that our politicians started not only listening to but actually delivering the message of scientists like NASA's James Hansen.

As Hansen said 6 months ago in "Game Over for the Climate"

"President Obama speaks [or at least "once spoke" -- HA] of a “planet in peril,” but he does not provide the leadership needed to change the world’s course. Our leaders must speak candidly to the public — which yearns for open, honest discussion — explaining that our continued technological leadership and economic well-being demand a reasoned change of our energy course. History has shown that the American public can rise to the challenge, but leadership is essential.""The science of the situation is clear — it’s time for the politics to follow"

Continued silence -- or acting like we have all the time in the world to address the problem --  is simply not an option.

And neither is making "excuses" for our politicians.

For another related ditty, read Game Over for the Climate.

My lies obscured ya

-- Horatio Algeranon's parrotty of Frankie Valli

My lies obscured ya
Though I never laid a trend on you
My lies obscured ya
With a million denials from me you know they couldn't see how I obscured ya
So cold, so cold and yet so warm

Curried the favor of fools
Playin' "make-believe you're flat-line to me"
You were reality, I was denial
When we came to be
Bloggin' bull every day about hurricane loss and pay
Till you surged into the York that's New
Went your submarine ways

My lies obscured ya
Though I never laid a trend on you
My lies obscured ya
With a million denials from me you know they couldn't see how I obscured ya
So cold, so cold and yet so warm

Headed for blogging rights
Climbed the ladder up to fortune and fame
Worked my mouse-finger to the bone
Made myself a name
Funny I seemed to find
That no matter how the years unwind
Still I reminisce 'bout the trend I dissed
And the science I left behind

My lies obscured ya
Though I never laid a trend on you
My lies obscured ya
With a million denials from me you know they couldn't see how I obscured ya
So cold, so cold and yet so warm


Click here to listen to Horatio singe My Lies Obscured ya.

Blowin' in the Wind

-- Horatio's "interpretation" of Bob Dylan  

(who was definitely an instrumental part of the AGW song genre)

How many levees must a storm knock down
Before you call it AGW?
How many cities will we have to bail
Before you say “I believe you?”
Yes, how many times must the carbon balls fly
Before they’re forever banned?
The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

Yes, how many years can a city exist
Before it’s washed to the sea?
Yes, how many years can some people exist
Before they are all forced to flee?
Yes, how many times can a man turn his head
Pretending he just doesn’t see?
The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.



If you like that, you might also like Tangled Up in CO2

Sandy Beaches

-- by Horatio Algeranon

The Uncertainty Monster
Is submergin'

Nobody wants her

That's for surgin'